"I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter." -Love Does
I've always worried about failing. I don't want to make mistakes, and I don't want to let people down. But you can't succeed without making mistakes, you'd never learn anything.
Starting in my high school career of basketball, and continuing even 'til now, I wanted to do well so badly. I wanted to run the plays correctly and score in the "doubles." I wanted to start. I wanted to be a star player. I was so focused on myself instead of God and even my teammates. I wasn't playing for His glory or to help my team; I was playing for myself- for my pride and for my own achievement.
During my senior year, God began to show me how foolish this perspective was. I was doing it for myself, but I was only getting frustrated, and this desire for stardom only robbed me of the joy of playing basketball. I was playing for myself, but I was not receiving any joy from it.
God began to move in my hear to show me I needed to lay down my pride and, ultimately, my desires. I had to be open to success and to failure, and I had to give both up to God. The only reason I was playing basketball was because He'd given me the opportunity. I had been worshipping basketball, and I fear I still sometimes do, but I needed to, and still need to, use it as worship to God.
Whether I win or lose, whether I score the game winning shot or miss a bunny, am I giving my all for God's all- Christ? Am I humbly accepting the successes and joyfully persevering through the failures?
I've struggled with this for the past several years, but I hope I'll continue to improve in surrendering it. I think I'll continually have to remind myself to do so, however, because I sadly find that my heart is prone to wander. But thank God for having such merciful patience with me. He is ever-faithful to take me back when I re-center on Christ.
I'm supposed to keep my eyes on the hoop if I want to score in basketball. It is the center and ultimate object of the game. As believers, we need to keep our eyes on Christ. He is at the center of life and should ultimately be the object of our hearts.