I was thinking tonight about starting clinicals in a couple weeks, and I got this knot in my stomach. I'm excited. This is what I've been going to school for after all, to get to start doctoring. But to be honest, my mind is blown over the fact that I'm actually going to be doing stuff. Will I even remember the last 2.5 years of information?! I'm nervous. Very nervous in fact. And the more I think about it, the more the knot grows. I was so happy to come home this past October. It felt like the finish line. In my mind, I could settle back in here. Yet I'm off again, and I hate it. I don't care what anyone says to the contrary, goodbyes never get any easier. I'm dreading them, as usual. Yes, I know somewhere in the background of my heart that this will be a wonderful experience and adventure, but tonight I wasn't feeling it at all.
During some quiet time, the song "One Thing Remains" by Kristian Stanfill came to mind and I knew I had to play it. This song has been like my anthem for several years now. It always seems to pop up when I need it to, from healing my brokenness the summer before my senior year in high school, to being played by the school worship team on my first and last day of college. Different parts of it have stood out with different messages, and tonight the words "constant through the trial and the change" hit me in the face. Flashing back through the years, so much has happened. So much has changed. But God has always remained, and He will still. He's brought me this far, and I believe He won't leave me now. His love is steadfast, and it never runs out on me.
https://youtu.be/GoYgi0sdOqc
