Thursday, December 31, 2015

Peace out 2015

2015. It was such a full year. I fell in love. I had heart ache. There were dreams, and there were doubts. I stretched myself to exhaustion, and I was filled with the thrill of adventure on the other side of the planet. This year I met some amazing people, and each and every one left their impression on the soft clay of my soul.

2015. A year brimming with opportunities and shenanigans. So as I reflect, what did I learn? I'm still working on that, but I do know how important it is to know who you are. Don't be afraid of what you'll find within yourself. Don't be afraid to know what you want and to take a stand to get it. Be comfortable in your own skin and embrace who you are as you enter into this new year.

Secondly, it's so important to love boldly and wholly. Whether it ends well or not, it will impact you in such a powerful way. It reveals who you are at your core, and it helps you embrace that. It invites you to laugh and be silly. It brings with it hope, and we could all use some of that. So don't be afraid of letting someone in. Love fearlessly.

Lastly, persevere. Life is going to be hard, and things always seem to have a tendency to take longer than you'd like. But don't give up. Keep working and pushing forward. My dad reminded me that it's easy to give up at the last moment, just as the break through is about to come. That's when you need to hold on the most because you just never know when the break through will come. It could be just around the corner from where you want to give in.

So delve into who you are as a person. Love yourself and love others with abandon. And hold fast to your hope and your dreams. May 2016 bring with it insight and glimmering joy! Happy New Year :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Heart at Rest

And here we are once again, at the turn of another year. It goes by so quickly doesn't it? We all have so much to get done, yet we often don't have the resources - emotionally, physically, materially - to get there. I know I've been running on fumes, and I can only imagine the numerous circumstances and demands you may be facing in this season of your life. Are you finding rest? Are you finding the peace of quiet stillness? I have not been. In fact, I wasn't even going to today until I felt the urge to just sit and listen to worship music. Even then, my mind jumped to all I had to do, and I was going to brush it aside for "later." However, my tired, anxious heart won out. And how sweet and beautiful the quiet peace of simply being still with Christ is.

I try to carry the world on my shoulders, but God whispers to let Him carry me in His palm. To come and lie down in green pastures beside quiet waters. It is not always easy, and it is not always convenient. At first, my rest even felt painfully uncomfortable, like I was wasting time. I think this in and of itself is a sign that you need to take a minute to stop and let your heart rest. There are always going to be a million things you should be doing, but your heart wasn't meant to run on E. You aren't the energizer bunny, no matter how badly you want to be :).

God is the keeper of my heart, and I've often equated this simply to my love story (which is true), but it means so much more. It means when my heart is tired, when my heart is anxious, He will sustain it. Christ will protect it with peace and carry it in love. So be filled. Be still. Be refreshed. May you have a heart-at-rest moment amidst the craziness of your season.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Sweet Dreams

Don't ever let something, or perhaps more likely, someone, get in the way of chasing your dreams. Whether that person is someone you may be falling in love with or is yourself. Don't put what you've been chasing on hold because you find yourself consumed over this relationship, or even the prospect of it. If that comes along, then be happy, and yes, make room for it in your life. You will undoubtedly have to make sacrifices and compromises, but you shouldn't have to let go of your dreams. In love, you will find a partner and cheerleader with whom to share your dreams. So don't let them go. Don't stop making time for them.

Our dreams pull the potential out from our souls, and they push us to look beyond who we are to who we could be. They are the bright horizon we look to when things get hard, and they are the motivation that keeps us going. Perhaps you've had a specific dream all your life, or perhaps you're just discovering a new one. Whatever the case, don't give up on it. If it fails, then it fails. You can always go on to find a new dream. But never give up before even reaching out.

Your dreams are a part of who you are, so believe in them. Believe in yourself and the potential hidden within your soul. Look out to the horizon, for it is bright.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Abide in My Love

So this whole pursuing thing... It's straight up exhausting! I don't care if we are in the 20th century, and it's acceptable for women to initiate things. It's a lot of effort, and I'm pooped. I'm going to leave it to the boys to pursue, or not to pursue. Whatever happens, happens.

I think I've been so desirous of having something magical happen and so afraid of not living up to our society's happiness norm, that I felt the need to try to create something magical in my life. I felt like I needed to do the pursuing in order to have a beautiful, romantic relationship. And yes, sometimes that's how it goes and sometimes guys need a little nudge. But I'll be honest, neither of those fit my life... at all.

I was/am just boy and love crazy. I see my parents married for over 30 years holding hands, and I see how my grandpa will still look sweetly at my grandma after 50+ years of marriage, and I want that! I want to have a man with whom I can be a "cute couple." I want to be in love so badly, but I can't force it into existence, and I have to stop trying.

I realized the other day that while I have been single for several years now, I haven't ever let myself actually be single. I've always been pursuing and looking for a relationship. I've been trying my darnedest to not be single, but I haven't simply taken a breath and been single. So, I'm going to plop myself down in this pasture in which God has placed me, and I'm going to rest. In John 15:9, Jesus says, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love." I'm going to enjoy the beauty of abiding in His love and the beauty this season has to offer. I need to stop peering through the fence and thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe it is, but I'm not on the other side. Besides, my grass is lovely, and it's mine. This season of singleness is lovely, and it's mine. So, it's time I stop running from it and time I start owning it. I am single, and that's ok :). I don't want to be single for the rest of my life, but ultimately, I just need to abide in Christ and take it one day at a time.

Saturday, January 3, 2015


It's already 2015, and I am yet again reminded of how quickly time goes. I'll be 21 this year. 21? When did that happen? How quickly two decades have already gone by, and what do I have to show for them? Everything. Nothing. Good. Bad. The years have held it all, although I find it easy to think they haven't held enough for me. I fall into the lie that I should be farther in my journey. And perhaps I could be, but that isn't the case, and that's ok.

Am I where I want to be today? In all honesty, no, but I am a whole lot closer today than I was a year ago or even just a few weeks ago. I'm a work in progress. While I often find my self groaning toward that destination, I'm forever grateful that I am in fact progressing.

I've grown remarkably from the little girl I once was. Some changes have been significant, some subtle, and some I'm sure I won't even be aware of until years from now. Certain areas of my life have seen more growth than others, a fact I've known but am only recently acknowledging. As this new year begins, and as I reflect over all that this past year has held, I prepare to step forward into change and growth. Seeking out those areas that need an extra boost.

My focus for this new year (my resolution as it were) is me, myself, and I. Sure it sounds a little selfish and self-centered, but I don't care. I want to find my best self, or at least get closer to her. So, yes, this year is about me. Don't worry, I'll still love you and seek to look out for you, but I'm going to look after myself too. My belated Christmas gift to myself is some TLC. As you begin this new year, could you use the same?