Sunday, April 29, 2018

Fight Song

I can't believe how quickly this first year of medical school has been going. It seemed so daunting when I first began. And it hasn't been easy, that's for sure. But, here I am. I'm almost a fourth of the way done. It scares me a little how quickly it's going, and to think that in just a few short years I'll be a doctor. I think of all the knowledge I've crammed into my head, and then I think of all the knowledge still to go. How am I going to do it? How do I keep pouring myself out for studying and learning? Maybe you can relate, with the dreams you're pursuing in your life. You're pouring yourself out for them, and you wonder how you'll keep going.

You have to keep fighting. They say money can't buy happiness, but I'd say work can. Hard work, fighting for your dreams and future and life that you envision. It absolutely, positively sucks. There's no getting around it. But when you start to drag, when you start to think maybe I can go find an easier dream, consider if you'll be happy. Then consider if you still believe in yourself. If the answer is yes, then you can accomplish anything you want.

I have days where I want to stop. I'm tired of studying. I'm tired of being far from home. I feel tired of my dream to become a doctor. Then I hear this nagging voice in my head, and I realize that there's still some fight in me. I still believe I can do this, and I still believe that I'm supposed to do this. And belief is a powerful thing.

Two time Olympic champion, Gail Devers once said, "Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe."

So keep playing your fight song.
https://youtu.be/xo1VInw-SKc

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Good Old Days

I've been obsessed lately with the song, "Good Old Days." I think it's because I love the premise of not letting life slip you by. One day soon, you won't be where you are right now. You might be in an amazing spot, but it still will be different. "Someday, these will be the good old days." Someday, you'll look back at all of this. Will you smile? Will you laugh at your adventures? Will you wish for more?

Another line of the songs goes, "All the love you won't forget," and I want that to be true in my life. I want to be able to look back someday and see as much time as possible with my loved ones. Because I won't remember what was on this test, and I won't remember the class gossip that seemed so important at the time. I'll remember laughing with my friends as we eat outside, and I'll remember having a game night with my family. I won't forget the love, because that's the only thing in life that matters, period.

"You don't know what you've got, 'til it goes. 'Til it's gone." Don't wait for the point when you look back at life to appreciate everything you have, Start realizing what you have, right now. Appreciate the love in your life. Smile as wide as you can. Laugh unrestrainedly. Live in these good old days.

https://youtu.be/1yYV9-KoSUM

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Bad Ass New Year

It's hard to believe another year has come and gone in my life. Time moves so quickly sometimes, doesn't it? I look back at all this year has held, and my breath is taken away. I got to start dating a man I am head-over-heels in love with. I went to Europe and had adventures with one of my sisters. I started medical school. So much has happened!

I'm always a bit uncertain at my birthday because I wonder what this new year of life will hold. I want to see beyond the bend. But as I realize all the good and the joy that was this last year, I feel content. I am excited for this year. Whether good or bad or in-between, it's life. It's exciting to know it's a new year with new possibilities and adventures.

I read in John 16 this morning, and the version I read really struck me, "be confident, certain, undaunted." I just love those words. I feel power in them. Whatever the future holds, know you can face anything. My dad told me today that I'm a bad ass, so I'm gonna face this new year like one: confident, certain, and undaunted.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Run Your Path

Tomorrow, I start my second week of medical school here in the Caribbean. It's already been a lot of work, and there have been some moments where I don't think I'll be able to hold out on this little island for 2 years. I worry I won't be able to stick with the amount of work. In those moments, I think of how nice it would be to go back home with my loved ones. How nice it would be to have free time. But then, I also think of what else I would want to do with my life. And nothing honestly comes up. Certainly nothing I'd want to do forever.

So then I remember why I am off in the middle of the ocean; I remember my dream and passion - to become a doctor. This isn't how I had ever imagined it happening, but I'm awfully thankful it is. I'm sure many of you are going through moments or paths that you never pictured either. But never let yourself lose sight of the bigger picture. There will be people who say no, including yourself. There will be times when you have to take a detour. But at the end of the day, never let your soul forget its purpose.

Whatever it is, it is your path. "Walk it. Run it. And keep on running." -Think Happy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEV1rlzh-UI

Sunday, March 12, 2017

50/50

Wouldn't it be nice if relationships were 50/50? I had always thought so, but I've come to realize that is a rarity. And I do believe I'm glad of it, because as I've given it more thought, it'd be impractical. There will be times in every relationship where one person or the other will be going through a trying time. They will be stressed or overwhelmed, and they simply won't have much to give. And here in lies the beauty of love and being in relation with someone else: when you're weak, they can be strong. When you only have 10 to give, it doesn't matter because the other's love will make up the difference.

I admit that I've struggled with this, still holding to the idea that it should always be 50/50. And don't get me wrong, I still whole-heartedly believe in the relationship being equal, but my definition of equal has changed. Now, instead of each giving 100% all the time, I see equal as each partner being willing to take their turn at being strong for the other. I see it as saying, "I'm in. During the good and bad, I'll be with you and for you." It isn't always easy, but that's love. When you choose to love someone, you're choosing to love an imperfect human in an imperfect world. Love isn't always easy, but it is always worth it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Expanding

I recently read something about expanding your soul. In sum, the piece encouraged pouring yourself into something, even if you simply turn around and destroy it. Putting part of yourself into something allows you to see a part of your soul. It's a little artsy-fartsy, but as I read through my old posts, I can see all those flickers of who I am. And it makes me think of what will be next. What will I find within my soul?

As I've thought of this, my mind turns to med school next year. I honestly cannot even fathom what it's going to be like. It is so far beyond anything I've experienced, and it is both exciting and terrifying  in equal parts. I already feel a home sickness, and I know I will miss my loved ones dearly. I will have to figure out how to take care of myself in a foreign place, which I've never done before. I think it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done, to be honest.

But from what I do know of who I am, I know I will be okay. My loved ones have all poured parts of their souls into me, and I know I'm not going alone. It won't always be fun, and I'll probably have days where I even want to quit. But, I also believe I'm going to further unearth something within me that is both bright and indomitable. I can feel that something burning in my chest even as I write these words, and I am more than willing to pour myself into this new adventure to find it.

What can you pour yourself into? Where will you discover parts of your soul? Whatever it may be for you, pour yourself into it, even if it's completely and utterly for yourself. Maybe no one ever knows it, but you will. You'll glimpse your soul expanding, and it will be beautiful.


Saturday, September 17, 2016

Find Your Breath

I often wondered how people could be so sure of themselves. How they could know down to their core what they wanted to do with their whole lives. It’s such a big commitment after all. And I am still amazed. However, I think I’m starting to understand.

I’ve always loved the idea of following one’s heart, even if it’s cliché. I believe they’re the wisest words one could say. Your heart is what gives you life; each beat pumping opportunity and purpose into your bones. So it seems following your heart is the right thing. Cause where your heart is, there your life will be too.

I think many of us feel scared to follow our hearts. We decide logic is the best possibility, which it can be. But logic doesn’t know how to bring forth or understand joy and peace and fulfillment. Those belong solely to the heart. Because we follow our brains, many of us end up in places that are subpar. Places that do not satisfy the deepest longings of our souls. Of our hearts. Perhaps because we don’t know where our hearts would lead us. We don’t know, so we stay. But, don’t.

Follow your passion. Follow your heart. Believe me, there are people who want to be doing that job, who want to live in that town. That is their passion, and they’ve got it, so you don’t have to. Leave those things to the people who gain life from them. Go find your passion. Find the thing that gives you breath. The thing that gives you life.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... have the courage to follow your heart."    -Steve Jobs