Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Good Old Days

I've been obsessed lately with the song, "Good Old Days." I think it's because I love the premise of not letting life slip you by. One day soon, you won't be where you are right now. You might be in an amazing spot, but it still will be different. "Someday, these will be the good old days." Someday, you'll look back at all of this. Will you smile? Will you laugh at your adventures? Will you wish for more?

Another line of the songs goes, "All the love you won't forget," and I want that to be true in my life. I want to be able to look back someday and see as much time as possible with my loved ones. Because I won't remember what was on this test, and I won't remember the class gossip that seemed so important at the time. I'll remember laughing with my friends as we eat outside, and I'll remember having a game night with my family. I won't forget the love, because that's the only thing in life that matters, period.

"You don't know what you've got, 'til it goes. 'Til it's gone." Don't wait for the point when you look back at life to appreciate everything you have, Start realizing what you have, right now. Appreciate the love in your life. Smile as wide as you can. Laugh unrestrainedly. Live in these good old days.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Bad Ass New Year

It's hard to believe another year has come and gone in my life. Time moves so quickly sometimes, doesn't it? I look back at all this year has held, and my breath is taken away. I got to start dating a man I am head-over-heels in love with. I went to Europe and had adventures with one of my sisters. I started medical school. So much has happened!

I'm always a bit uncertain at my birthday because I wonder what this new year of life will hold. I want to see beyond the bend. But as I realize all the good and the joy that was this last year, I feel content. I am excited for this year. Whether good or bad or in-between, it's life. It's exciting to know it's a new year with new possibilities and adventures.

I read in John 16 this morning, and the version I read really struck me, "be confident, certain, undaunted." I just love those words. I feel power in them. Whatever the future holds, know you can face anything. My dad told me today that I'm a bad ass, so I'm gonna face this new year like one: confident, certain, and undaunted.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Run Your Path

Tomorrow, I start my second week of medical school here in the Caribbean. It's already been a lot of work, and there have been some moments where I don't think I'll be able to hold out on this little island for 2 years. I worry I won't be able to stick with the amount of work. In those moments, I think of how nice it would be to go back home with my loved ones. How nice it would be to have free time. But then, I also think of what else I would want to do with my life. And nothing honestly comes up. Certainly nothing I'd want to do forever.

So then I remember why I am off in the middle of the ocean; I remember my dream and passion - to become a doctor. This isn't how I had ever imagined it happening, but I'm awfully thankful it is. I'm sure many of you are going through moments or paths that you never pictured either. But never let yourself lose sight of the bigger picture. There will be people who say no, including yourself. There will be times when you have to take a detour. But at the end of the day, never let your soul forget its purpose.

Whatever it is, it is your path. "Walk it. Run it. And keep on running." -Think Happy

Sunday, March 12, 2017


Wouldn't it be nice if relationships were 50/50? I had always thought so, but I've come to realize that is a rarity. And I do believe I'm glad of it, because as I've given it more thought, it'd be impractical. There will be times in every relationship where one person or the other will be going through a trying time. They will be stressed or overwhelmed, and they simply won't have much to give. And here in lies the beauty of love and being in relation with someone else: when you're weak, they can be strong. When you only have 10 to give, it doesn't matter because the other's love will make up the difference.

I admit that I've struggled with this, still holding to the idea that it should always be 50/50. And don't get me wrong, I still whole-heartedly believe in the relationship being equal, but my definition of equal has changed. Now, instead of each giving 100% all the time, I see equal as each partner being willing to take their turn at being strong for the other. I see it as saying, "I'm in. During the good and bad, I'll be with you and for you." It isn't always easy, but that's love. When you choose to love someone, you're choosing to love an imperfect human in an imperfect world. Love isn't always easy, but it is always worth it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016


I recently read something about expanding your soul. In sum, the piece encouraged pouring yourself into something, even if you simply turn around and destroy it. Putting part of yourself into something allows you to see a part of your soul. It's a little artsy-fartsy, but as I read through my old posts, I can see all those flickers of who I am. And it makes me think of what will be next. What will I find within my soul?

As I've thought of this, my mind turns to med school next year. I honestly cannot even fathom what it's going to be like. It is so far beyond anything I've experienced, and it is both exciting and terrifying  in equal parts. I already feel a home sickness, and I know I will miss my loved ones dearly. I will have to figure out how to take care of myself in a foreign place, which I've never done before. I think it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done, to be honest.

But from what I do know of who I am, I know I will be okay. My loved ones have all poured parts of their souls into me, and I know I'm not going alone. It won't always be fun, and I'll probably have days where I even want to quit. But, I also believe I'm going to further unearth something within me that is both bright and indomitable. I can feel that something burning in my chest even as I write these words, and I am more than willing to pour myself into this new adventure to find it.

What can you pour yourself into? Where will you discover parts of your soul? Whatever it may be for you, pour yourself into it, even if it's completely and utterly for yourself. Maybe no one ever knows it, but you will. You'll glimpse your soul expanding, and it will be beautiful.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Find Your Breath

I often wondered how people could be so sure of themselves. How they could know down to their core what they wanted to do with their whole lives. It’s such a big commitment after all. And I am still amazed. However, I think I’m starting to understand.

I’ve always loved the idea of following one’s heart, even if it’s cliché. I believe they’re the wisest words one could say. Your heart is what gives you life; each beat pumping opportunity and purpose into your bones. So it seems following your heart is the right thing. Cause where your heart is, there your life will be too.

I think many of us feel scared to follow our hearts. We decide logic is the best possibility, which it can be. But logic doesn’t know how to bring forth or understand joy and peace and fulfillment. Those belong solely to the heart. Because we follow our brains, many of us end up in places that are subpar. Places that do not satisfy the deepest longings of our souls. Of our hearts. Perhaps because we don’t know where our hearts would lead us. We don’t know, so we stay. But, don’t.

Follow your passion. Follow your heart. Believe me, there are people who want to be doing that job, who want to live in that town. That is their passion, and they’ve got it, so you don’t have to. Leave those things to the people who gain life from them. Go find your passion. Find the thing that gives you breath. The thing that gives you life.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... have the courage to follow your heart."    -Steve Jobs

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Farewell, with love

It has quickly, and yet finally, come to a close. My college career. It went by so quickly, and I am conflicted. I am ready to move forward. I feel I have a wandering soul, so I am ready for something new. Yet, I also am hesitant to leave. The past three years have truly been incredible, with the good and bad alike. Although I often denied it, I did love my time at UNW. I think the last three years have shaped me more than any other time in my life. I hope I will continue to grow and have my rough edges smoothed, but it will be different. And different can be scary.

I will not be constantly around my friends and peers. I will not be able to so easily have others pour into my life their love and experiences. And the people I've met in the past three years have poured so much. They have given both good and bad, yet it has all been used for good. I have learned to be independent; perhaps most importantly, to be independent of feeling pressured to have a boyfriend. I have found a strength within me and a faithfulness in God that makes me know I can take care of myself until the time is right. I do not need to be a damsel in distress, and that's freeing. Yes, I do still want a boy, but I do not need a boy. It's taken me 21 years to figure out that distinction. And it largely came in the last two years. Unfortunately, being an adult does not mean you have it all figured out.

Aside from all the incredible friends and peers I've met during my time at UNW, I've also learned just how important my family is to me. I didn't move out of state for my undergrad, and I am so thankful I didn't. In all that life has thrown my way and thrown my family's way, I've been able to see time and time again the deep, steadfast love of family. Yes, I've also grown to see more of their craziness, but with this insight has come an appreciation for it. They are the laughter and dancing, and they are the hugs and words of wisdom.

I've been learning, and am still learning, to be bold and to trust my heart. People think it's silly when my words of advice entail them following their hearts, but that's what I know. Your heart holds all your dreams and secrets. It knows you best of all, so why not follow it? True, feelings can lead to foolish actions and may even lead us astray, but I would say it's well-worth the risk. "Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion." -Georg W. F. Hegel. So be passionate!

I wasn't hit by the fact I'd be graduating until I tried on my graduation gown. Then I realized all that had been. All the lessons learned and memories formed. All the people who have both come into and out of my life. And all the dreams I've awoken to. These past three years have changed who I am deeply, and I can truly say I'm in love with the reflection I see in the mirror each day.