In being completely honest with myself, with the help of God and friends, I've come to realize and admit that I am totally unfit to have a relationship at this point in my life. I've struggled with wanting a relationship, specifically with wanting to know my husband, for a long time. Well, last fall and now here at school, I've met two wonderful young men. Both are godly and have a heart for Christ. I barely got to know the one from the fall, yet I found myself being distracted with thinking of wanting to date him! I've gotten to know the one here at school much better, and he is such a sweetheart and is funny and makes me smile :). He is a gentleman and a talented singer, but the fact remains, that I still don't really know him. Yet, I catch myself daydreaming of what it would be like to date or even to marry him! What?!
Now, I don't think these thoughts or my desire to be in a relationship are necessarily bad things, and I do believe that God created an inert desire to be in such a relationship. However, I feared these had begun to spiral out of hand, to where they were almost even like idols. I spent (and still do spend) so much of my time thinking about them... more than I did (and sometimes still do) on thinking about God and my relationship with Him! I should be controlling my feelings, not the other way around. At this point, I think if I were in a relationship, I would get so caught up in it and devoted to it, that I would begin to push God aside in order to give my attention to the relationship. I had started to do this, and I was only thinking about a relationship!
So, due to this sad reality, I've come to realize my need to really put in a concentrated effort into pursuing my relationship with Christ. I need to grow in my faith before I try to start up any kind of earthly romance. Whether this guy is the right one or not, I need to work on becoming the right woman. And not simply for my own sake, although this is crucial.
You see, I hope to be in a relationship with a godly man, and I would want to be able to encourage him towards Gods, and vice versa. However, right now, I fear I wouldn't do this effectively. I wouldn't want that for whoever I date/marry. I would want, and do want, the best for him and his heart.
Therefore, I've come to make the decision to redirect my attentions. I'm not going to pursue or initiate any relationship. I would love to one day, but it wouldn't be right now. Hopefully, through this time, I'll be closer to God and have the type of relationship with Him that allows me to be completely satisfied, with or without a man. Maybe you should try something similar?